Friday, February 5, 2016

Blog #2

I was pondering over some of the discussions we had on Monday and Wednesday; this may not be so relevant to discussion, but i was reflecting on the talks I had when I was a kid, and the sexual experiences that followed when I was older. I had an absolutely TERRIBLE first experience of sex. It was my first real boyfriend I had ever had, and I was so infatuated with him. The first time we had ever had sex, he broke up with me about an hour later. I was mortified. I never wanted to do anything like that again. I felt ashamed, disgusted by my own body, disgusted of myself, I wore baggy clothes so no one could see my body, and even though this was a long time ago, it still sits in the back of my mind, and to some degree it's effected every intimate relationship I have had since.
I started thinking about how my parents (well really my mother), that sex is an intimate, special, moment, and it's something that should expressed with someone you love. I was painted this rosey picture my entire life of what love and sex is supposed to mean and that it's this wonderful, amazing thing; I couldn't wait for that. I felt like I was a bit naive, but who wouldn't? I was 15, I thought I loved someone, but I feel like I was never warned of what the emotional consequences would be. I mean, yeah we talked about STD's and those sorts of repercussions, but nothing about the emotional concept that goes with it.
I was never taught that someone's intentions could be malicious, I was never told how belittling it can feel, or how heart broken you could feel. 
I think that I was set up to believe that love is truthful, and not deceitful...which it is. But I grew up thinking that I could trust anyone, and that not everyone is ill-intended. I think my mother was trying to protect me in some ways by trying to make it sound like it is an amazing experience, and everyone ends up getting it; and it is all those things sometimes....but like she said it's with someone you LOVE. 
I think to some degree that should also be something to be explained in home and at school too.
It's important to be realistic and rational and touch on every aspect of sex, even the emotional parts. I think to some degree we need to be practical in the way we address sex with kids. Looking back, I wish someone would have told me that it takes time, patience, getting to know someone, learning to love yourself first, and to be rational especially because kids are so innocent...I felt like that experience I had took my innocence away completely...I was completely shut down, and got slapped in the face by reality. I'm not saying that we should portray sex as an evil thing and be super negative about it, but I think it's important to address it realistically in some instances and make sure they're ready/prepared for the real world by applying real life situations of what could happen.

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