Monday, February 8, 2016

Sex for pleasure

As a sociology minor I am constantly intrigued and fascinated by how much of our thoughts are triggered by socialization. When considering how my parents dealt with the sex talk I realize that I would have been way better off if they had handled it like the parents in the article.

When I was in second grade I woke up in the middle of the night and went to my parents room like I did almost every night. I ended up walked in on my parents having sex, but they were so preoccupied that they didn't even notice me. I'll never be able to get rid of that image (so not cool). I quickly scurried back to my room and forced myself to sleep in my own bed. The next day I told my classmate Paige what I had seen the night before. By the time that the bus got to my house that afternoon, my mom was waiting on me and she wasn't smiling like she usually was. It was that instant that I knew something was up. My mom would hardly talk to me after I got off the bus. She kept telling my to watch TV, do homework, anything to keep me occupied. I knew something was wrong, but I had no clue what it was. When my Dad got home my parents sent me to my room for a while and I remember having a feeling of guilt that I've never felt from my parents before, or after. My parents called me into the kitchen, and my dad picked me up and sat me on the counter. I was almost eye level with both of them. My parents proceeded to ask me what I told Paige on the playground that day... I told them I didn't know. My dad said, "what happens in this house, stays in this house. If you want to talk about it then you talk to me or your mom". My mom never said a word and that was the end of it. I am almost positive that to this day my parents haven't talked about it since.

In sixth grade I started my period at a friends house and my mom picked me up. It was about 7 in the morning and she took me to get pads, tampons, and panty liners. Then she took me to eat breakfast and the whole time we talked about a lot of stuff. She let me ask questions and suggested some. It was a good experience.

In 8th grade my mom asked me if I needed birth control. I said yes, and have been on it since.

I guess the moral of my experience is that I know it is better to talk about things with your kids than it is to not. In a way I experienced both and know how it feels to  be the kid in both versions. I think my parents were embarrassed that I made their sex "the talk of the town" momentarily. I understand that. I'm not going to be embarrassed to talk to my kids though. I want to be the best mother I can be just like the rest. In order to be a great parent or role model to a child I think it's important to be aware of the things we are socialized to do or say verses how things really should be done.

Until next time,
XOXO tinydancer

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