Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Final Blog Post

So, holy crap- it is the end of the semester?! When did that happen?! While I signed up for this class feeling like I already knew most of this material I have learned quite a lot in this course. && I stepped out of my comfort zone. For the past few days I have been working on the experimental activities - and when these were first assigned I was not thrilled with the idea that we would have to do all of these papers. I have to admit, now, that it was a blessing in disguise. It provided a media for which my parents had to open up and tell me things - that for twenty-six years- they refused to tell me. 

Here is what I mean: 
For this portion of the experimental activities I thought it would be great to interview my adoptive father because he has experienced both adoption as well as childbirth. Another reason I wanted to interview him on this – is because I found out I was adopted when I was sixteen and it isn’t a topic that is easy to get him to speak about; having a mandatory assignment on the subject means he couldn’t just change the subject like I didn’t ask questions.
            He first met my mother at the Red River Army Depot Bar. My mother saw him there with another lady. They left the bar but he came back a few minutes late and was alone so my mother bought him a drink. Once they had established a fairly stable dating relationship she introduced him to me. Apparently, there was an instant attraction between me (as a two year old) and him- because every time he would come over I would want to play ball with him, or put on my socks with bells and play “Inyann” (cowboys and Indians). According to my mother, we became nearly inseparable. As my parent’s relationship grew more serious and marriage occurred they discussed adoption. With the ambition of having more children they wanted to make the family whole by solidifying my placement through adoption. It took many months to get my biological father to agree to give up his rights so the adoption process could be completed. My father reported that they had a party when it was over that I was finally his. Throughout the interview he repeatedly reminded me that I was his first daughter… always! I asked him how receptive his family was to him being with a woman with a baby. He reported that they were overall supportive. So, then the interview transitioned to the birth of his first biological child (my younger sister). I asked him what that was like. He reported that he was ecstatic and it is an experience you never really forget. Getting to cut the cord and being surrounded by friends and family makes it all very surreal. He then said, “what was great about it was that I already knew I could be a dad… because I had you!” He got to do it all again with my youngest sister. I then inquired about his philosophy about passing down his genes- and he said that it honestly isn’t as important as many people make it out to be. Yes, it is great that it happened – but if it didn’t he had children, and that was the important part. I asked him why he didn’t think the genetic factor was important- he used to work for a medical waste company and at one point in his career he serviced an abortion clinic. One day, he went to the facility and in the process of the visit he saw the waste had fully formed hands and feet the size of an adult pinky fingernail. This life experience expressed to him to be blessed with whatever God provided- biological or not.
            I’ve never had the pleasure of hearing his side of these stories and I am so glad that this assignment provided the media through which it could be facilitated. 
Also, I got to see my professor do some awesome comedy- which is a first for me. Way to go!!!! I hope you have an awesome summer- and if there are more comedy shows I can go to- let me know!!!! 

Thanks everyone for sharing and remaining open minded!!!! THIS WAS GREAT! 

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